Paulina Porizkova

Average customer rating:

Her Alibi......
Good clean fun
It holds up -- like comfort food.
I LOVE HER AND I FEAR HER
Fun Mystery Romp

Her Alibi
Starring: Tom Selleck , Paulina Porizkova , William Daniels , James Farentino , and Hurd Hatfield
Director: Bruce Beresford
Manufacturer: Warner Home Video
ProductGroup: DVD
Binding: DVD

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Reversible Errors
Runaway
Three Men and a Little Lady
Three Men and a Baby
Folks!

ASIN: 6305161984
Release Date: 1998-11-10

Amazon.com

To see why Tom Selleck's movie career has been a constant uphill battle, look no further than this tepid mystery/comedy from 1989. Selleck plays a successful mystery novelist who cures a persistent case of writer's block by visiting the courtroom trial of a young Romanian woman named Nina (played by late '80s supermodel Paulina Porizkova) who has been accused of murder. He supplies the alleged murderer with an alibi--she can claim she was having an affair with him at his Connecticut country home at the time of the murder--and then he brings her to Connecticut to make the alibi look legitimate. Is she in fact a killer? Did she serve poisoned casserole to a group of dinner guests? You'd have to be a major fan of Selleck or Porizkova to want to find out what happens next, because despite a few light moments of engaging comedy this is the kind of nonsensical fluff that quickly wears out its welcome. --Jeff Shannon

Customer Reviews:

Her Alibi.............2007-02-07

Extremely funny movie with some mystery mixed in with it as well! Great storyline and very well acted movie by all cast members involved.

Tom Selleck plays a best selling mystery writer who hits a long dry spell after he divorced his wife. His publisher is pressuring him to write another best selling novel. Selleck's character falls in love with a young, beautiful, Romanian woman (Paulina Porizkova) accused of murder with whom he doesn't know. Is she innocent or is she guilty of the crime she's being accused of? Selleck doesn't know, but decides to be "her alibi" by saying that he knows her and that she is his lover.

Porizkova's character unwillingly moves in with Selleck's character because the Romanian Secret Police are after her which only adds to the suspense of this movie...... Is she a criminal or what? Through out the movie Porizkova's character provides Selleck's character with lots of fodder to write another best selling novel..... She becomes the muse he needs to write his next book.

In the end all is revealed. Sit back and enjoy the humorous story as it unfolds.

Good clean fun.......2006-11-07

Tom Selleck, writer of mysteries, is enchanted by a beautiful foreigner, Paulina Porizkova. Searching for a new spin for his fictional character, this writer finds a plot brewing in the eyes of the alluring murder suspect. In the process he falls in love but at the same time is unsure of her innocence. Will he be the next victim? Their interplay is charming but not sophisticated. This is a simple, fun movie with loads of laughs.

It holds up -- like comfort food........2006-11-07

After almost 18 years, this largely underrated little comedy remains a perennial treasure and brings a special brand of joy with every viewing.

Ms. Porizkova is always just as gorgeous; Tom Selleck's faux macho narration as unfailingly corny and amusing; the dark comedy about the cat and the food poisoning just as unnecessary and out of place; and the slapstick surrounding the arrow in Selleck's posterior just as forced and, well, funny.

Her Alibi is an escape, a return to a simpler time that at this writing is still less than two decades ago.

Keep a copy of this DVD in your collection and pop it into the player to lift your spirits on a rainy day.

I LOVE HER AND I FEAR HER.......2006-04-23

Her Alibi will never be a listed as one of the top 100 movies of the century. It will never be considered a piece of art that will change your life forever. However, it is a great choice for a delightful way to spend a lazy afternoon or quite weekend evening with your significant other.

First of all, this movie is very funny. Tom Selleck is a bit out of his typecast as a bumbling writer. He narrates the novel that he is writing while the film shows the experiences that inspired the writing. The contrast between reality and fantasy is hilarious.

Second, the interplay between characters is touching and witty. One never knows what is and is not true as the story unfolds. Yet, some scenes are both touching and insightful. Along those lines, the scene where Tom Selleck gets a haircut is more erotic than many more graphic scenes from movies made for today's more coarse society.

Finally, this reviewer finds this movie interesting, at least to this viewer, as a case study in technology use. This movie was made in 1989 a bit before cell phones, pda's, and desk top computers become ubiquitous. It is interesting to see how many of these tools have become so imbedded in our lives that to view folks working and living without them is almost like a trip to some ancient culture.

Overall, this movie is a nice and entertaining way to spend a few leisure hours. Likewise, it is a good story that will hold up under repeated viewings.

Fun Mystery Romp .......2005-05-11

Tom Selleck has spent his entire career after Magnum P.I. making entertaining movies that out-of-touch critics hate and the public loves. Here is one you may have missed from director Bruce Beresford (Driving Miss Daisy, Tender Mercies). It is gently moving and amusing, with some hystericaly funny moments along the way.

Tom Selleck is mystery writer Phil Blackwood and William Daniels of TV's St. Elsewhere fame is his best friend and editor Sam. Blackwood hasn't had a bestseller in some time and has been living on his reputation far too long. He needs something to break his writers block, and he may just have found it in beautiful Romanian Nina (lovely Paula Porizkova). He meets the accused murderer in court while watching trials for inspiration, and decides to become her alibi.

James Farentino is the cop who knows Blackwood is lying for the lovely Nina and decides to keep an eye on things so he doesn't get killed. Once Blackwood takes Nina to the estate his Peter Swift mystery novels have paid for, he turns every situation into fodder for his fictional Peter Swift, and you'll find youself laughing hard at Selleck's voice-over as he writes.

Some European thugs are after Nina, and Blackwood becomes increasingly paranoid and begins to suspect the child-like innocence of Nina may be an act. There are some hilarious moments as he begins to wonder if she's out to kill him. William Daniels as his buddy Sam gives fine comic support and Farentino has a good role as the cop who knows these guys are in over their heads!

The film is full of old-fashioned charm reminiscent of films made during the 1930's. Patrick Wayne and Tess Harper as Blackwood's very worried family add some nice moments to this entertaining film. I won't give too much away, but there is one scene that takes place after a huge dinner that will have you laughing as hard as you ever have at the movies. It is absolutely hilarious!

You'll like this movie a lot, especially if you like Tom Selleck, and who doesn't? It's a lot of fun to watch and since you can pick it up so inexpensively here on Amazon there's no need to wait. Pick up this one today!

Average customer rating:

Nearest To Heaven
Romantic movie for the people over 35
Just go to the Empire State Building NOW
First Loves, Memory, and Fantasy versus Reality

Nearest To Heaven
Starring: Catherine Deneuve , William Hurt , Bernard Le Coq , Hélène Fillières , and Gilbert Melki
Director: Tonie Marshall
Manufacturer: Fox Lorber
ProductGroup: DVD
Binding: DVD

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Genealogies of a Crime
Place Vendome
La Vie de Chateau
My Favorite Season
Dangerous Liaisons (200-Minute Version in English)

ASIN: B0006TPDWK
Release Date: 2005-02-15

Amazon.com

Still magnificent as she approaches 60, Catherine Deneuve demonstrates in Nearest to Heaven that her talent and beauty are undiminished. A moody art historian named Fanette (Deneuve, 8 Women, Belle de Jour) holds a torch for a lover from her youth. When she hears that he was at a class reunion, she has visions of him in a grey suit and imagines she's just missed seeing him at a movie theater or on the street. Out of nowhere he leave a note on her door, asking her to meet him atop the Empire State Building, in homage to An Affair to Remember, their favorite movie. When Fanette travels to New York, she meets a photographer (William Hurt, The Accidental Tourist) who woos her aggressively--but Fanette resists, aching for her lost love. Nearest to Heaven is best described as a meditation on desire vs. reality, but much of the movie is as suspenseful as any psychological thriller. Deneuve vividly lays bare Fanette's layers of neurosis; this could be the adult version of her character from Roman Polanski's classic Repulsion--functional on the surface, but with madness roiling underneath. Partly in English, partly in French with English subtitles. --Bret Fetzer

Description

Starring Catherine Deneuve, William Hurt. From tribute.com - "Fanette (Deneuve) is writing a book on the abstract painter Francois Arnal. One day, when she learns that the man she considered her one great love, Phillippe, is in town, she can't stop thinking about him, even believing she has spotted him at a screnning of her favorite film, An Affair to Remember........she has to go to NY to photograph some of Arnai's paintings....before leaving she gets a note from Philippe, asking her to meet him in 3 days at the top of the Empire State Building........."

Customer Reviews:

Nearest To Heaven.......2007-01-04

Nearest To Heaven is an excellent Deneuve movie. You can see her range of acting skills which has made her famous for so many years.

Romantic movie for the people over 35.......2006-07-28

I'm glad to see that they do make romantic films with middle age couples in it. And she is about 7 years older! What is interesting because it's half in French and the other half English speaking.I used to have a crush on William Hurt in the '80s. He has that languid yet intelligent sexuality about him (like Nicolas Cage). Yes, I know that sounds weird...what can I say?I recommend this movie for anyone over 40. Or at least in their late 30s.

Just go to the Empire State Building NOW.......2006-04-14

A middle-aged Frenchwoman is either experiencing delusions... More of grandeur or the full force of destiny in director Tonie Marshall's 2002 romantic drama Nearest to Heaven (Au Plus Pres Du Paradis). When single non-fiction book author Fanette (Catherine Deneuve) accidentally bumps into former schoolmate Bernard (Bernard Le Coq) -- who was smitten with Fanette in school but whose affection remained unrequited -- she is reminded of another man whom she loved intensely. This other man, Philippe, left a huge impression on Fanette as she begins to lose herself in reminiscences over the brief, intense relationship the two experienced. After catching a number of screenings for the 1957 film An Affair to Remember -- which was also Fanette and Philippe's favorite film during their fling -- Fanette gets the notion from what may or may not be a figment of her imagination to go to New York and visit the observation deck of the Empire State Building. Setting out under the pretense of putting the finishing touches on her latest book, she arrives in the States and discovers her usual photographer has been replaced by the single and somewhat attractive male photographer Matt (William Hurt) -- which further confuses Fanette when she eventually develops feelings for him. ~ Ryan Shriver, All Movie Guide...

First Loves, Memory, and Fantasy versus Reality.......2005-02-28

NEAREST TO HEAVEN ('Au plus près du paradis') is in many ways a simple old-fashioned melodrama - but with a delectable twist. Writers Anne-Louise Trividic and Tonie Marshall (who also directs) have created a tale of lost first love that follows a woman through her life, and ultimately becomes an obsession.

Fanette (Catherine Deneuve, as luminously beautiful and sensuous as she approaches 60 as ever) is an art historian working on a book project for which she must fly to New York to obtain photographs of the subject artist's work. Fanette is successful but has a distance in her emotional makeup that surfaces when she hears from an old friend Bernard (Bernard Le Coq) that her first love Philippe is in town (Paris) for a class reunion. Fanette begins to imagine she sees Philippe in cafes, and in movie houses (especially in a theater where she repeatedly views her favorite film "An Affair to Remember"). Ready to leave for New York she finds a note from Philippe who asks her to meet him at an appointed hour at the Empire State Building (!).

In New York she meets Matt (William Hurt), the photographer assigned to Fanette's task. Matt is wise, attracted to Fanette, and though Fanette is attracted to Matt, she still obsesses about her upcoming reunion with Philippe. Of course, as in the movie, Fanette waits atop the Empire State Building until the appointed hour on the night she is to meet Philippe, and when he of course doesn't appear...well, see the film to appreciate the ending.

On the surface this film is a bit corny and contrived, but in the hands of actors like Deneuve and Hurt the psychological implications of the plot are more profound and even sincerely touching. The ultimate drive of the movie is an examination of the obsessive powers first love affairs have over us and how the passage of time alters memory into the fantasy that we can actually return to the early moments of bliss. An interesting twist is the fact that while the story is in Paris, the film is shot in French and when the story shifts to New York the film is in English. This may annoy some viewers, but it is a bit more in keeping with the touch of verismo that prevents this film from being JUST an old-fashioned melodrama. And if for no other reason to see it, the film further documents the timeless beauty and talent of Catherine Deneuve. Grady Harp, February 2005.

Average customer rating:

What goes around......
Untying Knots
Amusing movie
Incredible fun for an overlooked movie

Knots
Starring: Scott Cohen , Annabeth Gish , Paulina Porizkova , John Stamos , and Tara Reid
Director: Greg Lombardo
Manufacturer: Lions Gate
ProductGroup: DVD
Binding: DVD

General | Comedy | Genres | DVD | Video

( K ) | Titles | Features | DVD | Video
Similar Items:

Fascination
Havoc (Unrated Version)
Novo
Lie With Me
Where the Truth Lies (Unrated Theatrical Edition) [Region 99]

ASIN: B0009A403E
Release Date: 2005-06-14

Description

A fresh look at the ties that bind us - and sometimes undo us. With a wry eye on modern sexual relationships from a distinctly male point-of-view, the film follows the romantic crash-and-burn of three best male friends as they get all tangled up in the never-ending battle between men and women, love and satisfaction. It's a relationship comedy…about the romantic disasters we survive amid the search for connection

Customer Reviews:

What goes around.............2006-02-20

This is a Romantic comedy that centers around a theme that is usually un-touched by RC movies: what if your wife turns out to be a lesbian? What's worse, what if the husband (played by Scott Cohen) is a bona-fide good guy who didn't ask to be a part of this mess? Well, things tend to get tied into knots.

John Stamos plays a womanizer (Cal) who would be the idol of most of we men. This is the first time I've seen Stamos in a movie in a long time - thought he looked familiar, but could not quite place him. Anyway, Paulina Porizkova is Lily, who is kind of Cal's counterpart; a womanizing / manizing bi-sexual femme-fatale. She has a knack for wreaking havoc on all the lives she touches.

Michael Leydon Campbell stars as Jake; a character I could relate to the most in this movie. He's your typical good natured nice guy who lacks social skills and is therefore condemned to always come in last. There is a deleted scene (in special features) that I think they should have kept in the movie. It epitomizes his frustrations with women. On the upside, he does get to hang out with Emily (Tara Reid). Most nice guys never score that high on the hotness scale!

This is an RC movie that is sexy, funny and brutally honest. Those who are looking for an unrealistic movie with a fairy tale ending would be best to skip this one. SERENDIPITY it's not.

Untying Knots.......2006-02-09

Knots? weird name! Strange story! Haven't heard of this movie? Neither had I. It wasn't bad though.

Knots is a story about three friends, Dave, (Scott Cohen) Jake, (Michael Leydon Campbell) Cal (John Stamos) and their wives girlfriends and loves.

Dave and Greta's (Annabeth Gish) marriage has devolved into the status of ho-hum. It's nothing they talk about. They may have not even consciously thought it out. Ultimately they agree to move into a new apartment, subconsciously believing it might give their floundering marriage a fixx.

Jake is the guy chicks really like, but unfortunately only to be friends with. Meanwhile friend Cal or someone else is getting further with the girls behind Jakes back. Cal on the other hand has a girlfriend, Emily, (Tara Reid) who travels extensively and when she's away, Cal loves to play and being a fashion photographer doesn't hurt.

Jake is confronting Cal about his latest transgression on their friendship in their local singles bar as Dave amusingly watches from the sideline, when a gorgeous creature catches his eye. This is Lily, (Paulina Porizkova) a mischievous, imp like barrister, who moves right in on Dave as Cal and Jake wander off, still arguing. Lily is putting the serious moves on Dave when Jakes returns. Dave, who is flattered and attracted to this comely vixen, is also repelled by this attraction and attempts to pawn Lily off on Jake, who asks Lily out. Lily demurs, that is, until Dave blurts out that he could come along also. Lily accepts and when Jake inquires about Dave's wife, he quickly includes Greta in the now, double date. Later, at dinner, when Greta seems to object that Dave was out with "the boys", Lily suggests a "girls night out." This is where the fun begins.

Cast and Credits

Michael Leydon Campbell Jake
Scott Cohen Dave
Annabeth Gish Greta
Hans Hartman Wedding Guest
John Heinlein Leering mover
Stephanie Kurtzuba Sheila
Linda Larkin Annette
Sarah Litzsinger Andrea
Paulina Porizkova Lily
Tara Reid Emily
John Rothman Dave's Lawyer
John Stamos Cal
KaDee Strickland Molly

Director Greg Lombardo
Screen Play Greg Lombardo
Neal Turitz

Report Card

Plot/Story B
Cast B
Acting B+
Directing B
Cinematography B
Entertainment factor B

Looks like a B movie, doesn't it?

Conclusion

Paulina Porizkova playing Lily, is the wildcard in this movie. It's almost like she was injected by some divine plan into these people's lives to shake thing up and shake things up she did. Dave unexpectedly comes home for lunch one day and finds Greta in bed, naked with the equally naked Lily.

This experience leads Greta to demand a divorce. While the divorce is proceeding, Dave runs by the apartment to pick up some things and runs into Greta. Surprisingly, this leads both of them to experience the best sex of their marriage, after which Greta declares she is a lesbian. The thoroughly confused Dave now heads to Lily's office to confront her, whereupon she turns the tables and seduces Dave right on her desk. There's more but I've said enough.

Knots has a plotline not unlike the movie Closer but presented in a light almost wholesome manner compared to that film. Overall, I though the movie was good but not great. The same could be said for the cast, acting, story etc. While it may not be essential that you view this film, If you enjoy sexy comedies, this is a movie you should see.

Amusing movie.......2005-08-22

I enjoyed this movie mostly. It was a fun look at how messed up relationships can get, and the boundaries that are often pushed. The cast is what makes the movie enjoyable, with notable performances from John Stamos, Tara Reid, Anabelle Gish, Scott Cohen, Paulina Porizkova, and Michael Leydon Campbell. Greta (Gish) is married to Dave (Cohen), and both of them end up having sex with their mutual friend Lily (Porizkova). This sends their circle of friends into a dizzy, changing the dynamics of their relationships. It was a funny romantic comedy I found it refreshing.

Incredible fun for an overlooked movie.......2005-06-14

I didn't know what to expect coming into this film, and was VERY pleasantly surprised. Far and away the best part of it is Paulina Pouriskova. She has come a long way from being an SI swimsuit model and is very funny and polished and turns out to be a great actress. John Stamos gives a great turn as well in a much more sophisticated character than he is usually allowed to play. I don't normally think too much of Tara Reid, but she was great, and Annabeth Gish, who is always good, was amazing as the leading lady.

Average customer rating:

Twisted but riveting plot with lots of humor!
ordering Thursday on DVD
Amazon has got to be joking!!
The Best Little Movie You've Never Heard of....
awesome....

Thursday
Starring: Thomas Jane , Aaron Eckhart , Paulina Porizkova , James LeGros , and Paula Marshall
Director: Skip Woods
Manufacturer: Polygram Video
ProductGroup: Video
Binding: VHS Tape

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Dourdan, Gary | ( D ) | Actors & Actresses | VHS | Video

Eckhart, Aaron | ( E ) | Actors & Actresses | VHS | Video

Holden, Marjean | ( H ) | Actors & Actresses | VHS | Video

Howard, Shawn Michael | ( H ) | Actors & Actresses | VHS | Video

Jane, Thomas | ( J ) | Actors & Actresses | VHS | Video

Jeter, Michael | ( J ) | Actors & Actresses | VHS | Video

Plummer, Glenn | ( P ) | Actors & Actresses | VHS | Video

Porizkova, Paulina | ( P ) | Actors & Actresses | VHS | Video

Rourke, Mickey | ( R ) | Actors & Actresses | VHS | Video

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Thursday - (Uncut - Import)
Montana [Region 99]
The Velocity of Gary [Region 99]
Red Sun [Region 2]
Bulletproof Heart (aka Killer)

ASIN: 6305197784
Release Date: 1999-06-08

Customer Reviews:

Twisted but riveting plot with lots of humor!.......2007-04-09

I didn't know what to expect when my husband suggested we watch this 'classic' on TV the other night [it was on Showtime]...but at the end of it, I felt that I had taken a fun roller-coaster ride, the kind that makes you feel sick and thrilled at the same time! The actors play their roles really well...Aaron Eckhart, Paulina Porizkova [yes, the ex-supermodel turned author], even Mickey Rourke in a small but significant role. You never know what to expect with this movie...just when you think someone's number is up, something else happens...plot twists abound, there lots of blood and violence, and sex too. Definitely entertaining, too bad its hard to obtain on DVD [even Netflix doesn't carry it].

ordering Thursday on DVD.......2006-11-29

GREAT movie! However, ordering it for a "normal" price seems very hard. I found a New Copy available for $10 but it was a Russian version. They gave me directions on which russian titles to click on in the Menu to get to play the movie in the original English version, so it is worth it, by far, if you can't find it anywhere else. Just look around -- this movie is worth the time!

Amazon has got to be joking!!.......2006-06-08

What is up with that price ?? $111.00 dollars are they crazy?
A friend of mine bought this dvd for under ten dollars at a retail store. If you pay $100 dollars for this movie you are crazy. And the movie is only 82 minutes long.

The Best Little Movie You've Never Heard of...........2006-04-29

Yes, there is an explanation as to why this movie sells on the secondary market for more than an ounce of many precious metals. Skip Woods (writer of Swordfish)penned a nice little story about a day (Thursday to be exact) in the life of a reformed thug, and how in this one day this new life he has created for himself comes crashing down around him. The storyline is unlike any other I have watched, definitely was an ideal concept in 1998 (this should've been a strong box office draw, and probably would have if done with a major studio and bigger names). Without ruining the novelty of the story, this is worth the watch due to its high action, unexpected twists and turns and strong acting (high marks for Mickey Rourke--no one does "slimeball" quite as well).

awesome...........2006-04-05

This is one of my favorite films of all time - I rented it many years ago and for the last few years I've been trying to purchase it - very hard to find - at least under $100... anyway I recommend this film to everyone...

Average customer rating:

Louise J. Kaplan
Tilda Swinton is the simply the best
Sex, but Weird!
Pretty Lame
"Perversions are never what they seem to be."

Female Perversions
Starring: Tilda Swinton , Amy Madigan , Karen Sillas , Frances Fisher , and Clancy Brown
Director: Susan Streitfeld
Manufacturer: Platinum Disc
ProductGroup: DVD
Binding: DVD

General | Drama | Genres | DVD | Video

4-for-3 All DVDs | 4-for-3 DVD | Stores | DVD | Video

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Raw Nerve
Blind Date
Young Adam [Region 99]
Orlando
Lake Consequence

ASIN: B00008G8M8
Release Date: 2001-11-27

Customer Reviews:

Louise J. Kaplan.......2006-04-22

For a woman to explore and express the fullness of her sexuality, her emotional and intellectual capacities, would entail who knows what risks and who knows what truly revolutionary alteration of the social conditions that demean and constrain her.

Or she may go on trying to fit herself into the order of the world and thereby consign herself forever to the bondage of some stereotype of normal femininity - a perversion, if you will.

Louise J. Kaplan

Tilda Swinton is the simply the best.......2006-02-12

I would have to disagree with some of the other review comments made earlier. Tilda is great for the role and played it well. Her ability to weave in a sense of believability, eroticism, sensual distress, neurotic behaviour, and breath-taking beauty ties the movie together like no other actress could have done.

Sex, but Weird!.......2004-09-06

My readers should know that I do not read the reviews in Netflix or Amazon before I write my reviews. Be assured that I am giving you my opinion. This often puts me at odds with film critics around the world.

Female Perversions can't have it two ways. If Freud didn't understand women, then don't use his interpretations of how women are women. I'm a Freudian and appreciate smart insight, which Susan Streitfeld provides in analytical dream sequences. I found the dreams uninspired however as cinema. I found both straight sex and lesbian action in this film weirdly unsexy. I'm sure an audience of Lesbians or Feminists or both were wowed by near-pornographic sequences - my heart's all-aflutter.

The scene with the three women and the 13 year old was the most interesting for me probably for all the wrong reasons. The stripper is showing career woman, future judge, Tilda Swinton how to shake booty to lure and dominate men. The stripper's sister has no luck with men. She's kind of a Betty Crocker wanna be with nesting desperations. Betty Crocker's daughter is thirteen and hates being a woman. She mutilates herself for thrills. But so does affirmative action lawyer woman. This part reminded me of the film, Blue Velvet. The smart women mingle with the trailer park trash to share tips on menstruation.

Amy Madigan is Tilda's kleptomaniac sister. She's an egg head that steals panties, so she can have an orgasm. Then there's the scene where naked little sisters cause a stir with daddy because Tilda defecates in the tub. Ouch! This one is personal for the director. Sometimes you have to step back a little. The audience has to have a drink.

Pretty Lame.......2004-02-18

Every once in awhile I like a little dose of film noir. Throw in a dark setting with some creepy characters and I'm good to go. But FEMALE PERVERSIONS fell short of the genre: it was just plain weird. Let's face it, if I wish to be confronted by surreal, one-dimensional people with absolutely no clue I can go to a professional wrestling match. Or go visit my attorney, take your pick. Yet this flick is even more meaningless than Dewey, Cheatum & Howe (my lawyer's firm), and its subsequent perversions are more demeaning than they are perverted.

What's with the lead character in this movie? Tilda Swinton, a most fragile-looking beauty, is miscast in the lead role as a successful, aggressive attorney up for a judgeship by the Governor. She looks like a porcelain doll, and as we get to know her we find she's as unstable as the book shelf I put up the other day in my living room. She's plagued by some demented fantasies. . .or illusions. . .that supposedly have been repressed since her childhood, and for whatever reason she's into razor blades. Her boyfriend gets miffed so she has an affair with a woman. Why? She likes M&M candy. Why? Her fantasies include an overweight woman covered in mud. Why? She sleeps in a hammock. Why? She takes a bath with her sister. Why? She drives a really ugly Turbo converter. Why, oh why?

Don't ask me. I don't know. Or care. Incidentally, Amy Madigan and Frances Fisher head a supporting cast of equally troubled souls. If there is some feminist symbolism to be culled from FEMALE PERVERSIONS it's lost on me; all I saw was a montage of mumbo jumbo. So what to do about my appetite for film noir? Ah, yes: a Three Stooges movie. That should do it.
--D. Mikels

"Perversions are never what they seem to be.".......2004-01-31

In the film "Female Perversions" Eve Stephens (Tilda Swinton) is a young, ambitious lawyer. She's hoping for a judgeship, when her private life turns sour. Eve's resentful sister (Amy Madigan) is picked up on shoplifting charges, and Eve's boyfriend is making grumbling noises. Under the pressure, Eve begins to hear voices and experience debasing fantasies.

Tilda Swinton is an interesting actress. Her facial features have a blank androgynous look, and she can handle extremely challenging roles ("Orlando", for example). At the beginning of the film, Swinton seems almost unrecognizable. Her glam looks fade as the film wears on, and this is both appropriate and interesting.

Customer Reviews:

Just OK...............2006-03-01

I bought this movie first, because it claims to be a horror movie and also I love any movie about insane asylums. I've seen much worse movies but this one isn't great by no stretch of the imagination. I must admit that Larry Drake does play the role of a deranged psycho pretty good. He has that psycho look.... bald, evil looking, wearing a straight jacket and all. We find him loose in the asylum with a female psychiatrist trapped there in a maze trying to hide from the psycho! She finds aid in the janitor, played by Judd Nelson ( who is weird himself! ) only to find out he was also an inmate of the looney bin. Not a slasher or gore film. At times, a bit boring, at times not. I'd suggest just Rent it only!!

Bloody awful........2006-01-13

Dark Asylum (Gregory Gieras, 2001)

Gieras, who was also responsible for the ultimately stupid Centipede! Three years later, makes his most high-profile film to date. And despite having scored the cast of his career by a mile, they're not enough to keep this leaky ship afloat.

Maggie (Her Alibi's Paulina Porizkova, who should have realized she had no future in film a decade and a half ago) is a psychiatrist who works long days, living with her grandmother and raising a daughter on her own. (Why the father is not in the picture is briefly discussed, then dropped when it is revealed to be an obvious red herring.) She gets a call one night to go to an asylum in the process of closing down, where her old acquaintance Conrad (The DaVinci Code's Jurgen Prochnow) is holding a vicious serial killer known as The Trasher (Darkman's Larry Drake) until the FBI can come round to pick him up. Conrad wants to get the Trasher to talk, and get a book deal out of it, since his livelihood, the asylum, is on its way out, and enlists Maggie to help. All well and good, until things go horribly wrong. The only person left that Maggie has to turn to is the janitor, Quintz (brat packer Judd Nelson, whose career basically disappeared after New Jack City).

It may all sound like it could hold a modicum of interest, but, well, it doesn't. While it wouldn't be fair to say Centipede! Is a better film, it's certainly not a worse one, either. A wooden script combines with some truly painful acting, especially on Proizkova's part, to make this one, at best, something you'd have on in the background at a party for people to laugh at. *

An Entertaining By-The-Numbers B-Movie.......2005-11-27

DARK ASYLUM bills itself as a taut psychological thriller. If you are looking for such in this movie, then you will be disappointed. I was looking for nothing more than a slasher type b-movie and DARK ASYLUM delivered the goods. DARK ASYLUM has a basic plot where a serial killer known as the Trasher (Larry Drake) is captured by the police, sustaining a gunshot injury, and is taken to the Crestwood Asylum, which is in the process of being closed down and has only one other patient still left. Maggie Belham (Paulina Porizkova) is called in to do an evaluation of the Trasher before the feds come to pick him up at midnight. The Trasher, however, is not through with his reign of terror as he effects an escape. Being that the floor of the asylum being used has emergency lockdown, Maggie finds herself trapped in an otherwise abandoned asylum with the Trasher on her heels and no one to depend on except for the one patient, the janitor (Judd Nelson), left at the asylum. They must try to survive until the feds arrive, escape, or destroy the Trasher. DARK ASYLUM has strong and weak points. Its strength is in Gieras' taut direction and Drake's portrayal of the Trasher, a character who is a large, menacing killer who is also more than capable of outsmarting his prey. Its weaknesses are a basic plot with nothing more to add and some, at best, half-hearted performances. While Drake and Porizkova deliver on their performances, Nelson performs his role but really does not bring anything to it, other than comic relief. DARK ASYLUM has several edge of your seat moments, doses of humor, and a pace which keeps it moving. If you are looking for an intense and intelligent psychological thriller, you will not find it here. If you just want to sit back and enjoy a by-the-numbers b-movie, then DARK ASYLUM delivers.--Bob

Rock N' Roll!.......2004-10-18

This suspense filled movie about a diabolical, insane killer, a helplessly trapped psychiatrist, and a caught up in the mix janitor gives new meaning to the term astonishing! The doctor, played saucily by Paulina Porizkova, becomes trapped in an insane asylum at night with no way out. The deranged lunatic, performed admirably by Larry Drake Jr., hunts her down, as they play cat and mouse. Meanwhile, a hapless janitor, played brilliantly by Judd Nelson (The Breakfast Club), tries to help the doctor, and survive the night. Will the sun rise before "The Thrasher" catches the doctor and janitor?

Rent or buy this exciting movie and find out!

Also: great directing by Gregory Gieras.

NUTHOUSE BLUES.......2004-10-07

There are so many implausibilities and coincidences in DARK ASYLUM, one would think at least one of them would be suspenseful. Alas and alack, no such luck. We get the ever interminably boring Larry Drake as the Trasher, a serial killer who has murdered several people and hidden their bodies in the cities sewer system. They catch him and lock him up in a soon to be closed down asylum, waiting for the feds to pick him up at midnight. This asylum also houses Dr. Jurgen Prochnow, an elderly psychiatrist who wants one last chance to make Drake talk. Paulina Portikova couldn't be more trite and boring if she tried; Judd Nelson as an inmate and janitor tries hard but his scenes are so small that he can't save the sinking ship. The cops are all stupid, and why in the world are there hand grenades in a mental hospital? Little suspense is generated, and the film's climactic ending routine.
Some of the camera work is interesting, so it's not a total bomb...but it's not far!

Average customer rating:

Love this movie
The weight of the years!
Do You Speak Czech?

Anna
Starring: Sally Kirkland , Robert Fields , Paulina Porizkova , Gibby Brand , and John Robert Tillotson
Director: Yurek Bogayevicz
Manufacturer: Lions Gate
ProductGroup: DVD
Binding: DVD

General | Comedy | Genres | DVD | Video

General | Drama | Genres | DVD | Video

DVDs Under $7.49 | Today's Deals in DVD | Special Features | DVD | Video

( A ) | Titles | Features | DVD | Video

Her Alibi
Marie Antoinette
The Sensuous Nurse
The Queen
Europa Europa

ASIN: B00019331I
Release Date: 2004-03-16

Customer Reviews:

Love this movie .......2005-02-01

I absolutly love this movie. Sally Kirkland did indeed deserve the highest honors for this on target performance. This movie flowed and I can watch it again and again. I cannot convey how much not only do I love the movie, but how I felt the emotions throughout.
I am thrilled to see it now on DVD - a must have.

The weight of the years!.......2005-01-24

Sally Kirkland gave the best role of her career with this haunting portrait of a middle aged actress who decides to cast in USA after being a very well known actress in her birth country.

The struggling atmosphere and the winds of change experimented by Anna make the dramatic frame to receive her parent. You will realize how fast and temporal can result the affective ties when the greed and the ambition sharp the spirit.

The profound sensation of loneliness due the age in the acting world is the central focus of this intelligent and sensitive film. What can be the pretext to ignore the talent and experience of an actress whose only sin has been to surpass the forties? The acquired experience weighs less than nothing when the first wrinkles delineate the feminine face. It would seem that Faustian stigma has survived through the years and has embodied in the common sense of many people.

A mature film who could become in a vital reference point and late discussion after you watch this picture.

Do You Speak Czech?.......2004-03-24

Artisan strikes again. Two words - NO SUBTITLES! This is one of 'thee' best indie films ever made and Sally Kirkland absolutely deserved the Oscar nomination that she received for her portrayal of Anna, a one-time movie star in her native country. The character is Czechoslovakian and the story is set up through her meeting with another Czech citizen, Paulina Porizkova who speak to one another in Czech. A dialogue that no American will understand because THERE ARE NO SUBTITLES!

How does this studio stay in business? WHY does this studio stay in business? Not because of their track record for excellence.

Amazon.com

Customer Reviews:

Her Alibi.............2007-02-07

Good clean fun.......2006-11-07

It holds up -- like comfort food........2006-11-07

I LOVE HER AND I FEAR HER.......2006-04-23

Fun Mystery Romp .......2005-05-11

Average customer rating:

Sometimes you are better on your own!!
A very entertaining and funny film...

Wedding Bell Blues
Starring: Illeana Douglas , Paulina Porizkova , Julie Warner , John Corbett , and Jonathan Penner
Director: Dana Lustig
Manufacturer: Fox Lorber
ProductGroup: DVD
Binding: DVD

General | Comedy | Genres | DVD | Video

4-for-3 All DVDs | 4-for-3 DVD | Stores | DVD | Video

DVDs Under $7.49 | Today's Deals in DVD | Special Features | DVD | Video

All Deals | Today's Deals in DVD | Special Features | DVD | Video

( W ) | Titles | Features | DVD | Video

Changing Habits
Reckless and Wild
Cherry
Wedding Daze
'Til There Was You

ASIN: B00002RAT9
Release Date: 2000-01-11

Description

As intelligent as it is absurd, "Wedding Bell Blues" pokes great fun at the twists and turns of modern love. The result is an outrageous comedy of love, marriage and misadventure. Interactive Menus, Scene Access, Production Credits, Filmographies & Awards

Customer Reviews:

Sometimes you are better on your own!!.......2001-09-21

Rented this before on a whim. I've rented it several times since (am now buying it to save money!). It is one of my favorite indy films. A fun story about three roommates who head to Vegas in search of Mr. Right Now, and what they learn about themselves along the way. I highly recommend it!

A very entertaining and funny film..........2000-02-11

This was actually a movie I caught on cable half way through, and then I rented it. It was worth the rental fee! This is a story of three single women all hoping and wishing to be married before they are old and gray. Ileana Douglas is my fave in the movie, and the other women are charming too. a good cast, some interesting insights into marriage, relationships, and sex. Also, good writing! a very well rounded film, which was never released widely. catch it on video if you like romantic comedies with an attractive cast.

Average customer rating:

Fashionably Bad
Give It A Break
its cute
Dominique Swain in a wonderful romantic comedy of the......
Fashion funny!!

The Intern
Starring: Dominique Swain , Ben Pullen , Peggy Lipton , David Deblinger , and Joan Rivers
Director: Michael Lange
Manufacturer: York Home Video
ProductGroup: DVD
Binding: DVD

General | Comedy | Genres | DVD | Video

DVDs Under $9.99 | Today's Deals in DVD | Special Features | DVD | Video

All Deals | Today's Deals in DVD | Special Features | DVD | Video

( I ) | Titles | Features | DVD | Video

Plain Dirty
Tart
New Best Friend [Region 99]
Bully

ASIN: B00004W207
Release Date: 2000-09-26

Amazon.com

Dominique Swain, best known as Lolita in the 1998 Adrian Lyne remake and the knife-wielding daughter in Face-Off, shows off her gift for romantic comedy in this lightweight little confection. Interning at glossy fashion magazine "Skirt," her inexperienced but plucky and charming Jocelyn jumps at the often outlandish commands of her editors and nurses a crush on the magazine's assistant art director (Ben Pullen) while waiting for her big break, specifically a paying position. The high-strung editorial staff includes Joan Rivers (who barks up a storm with new ideas on wheelchair chic), Peggy Lipton, Kathy Griffin, Anna Thompson, and Paulina Porizkova as a former model who can't shake her starvation diet. "She had an apple two days ago," someone comments after she faints. "That can't be it," nods another.

The ostensible plot involves industrial espionage and the campaign to flush out "the Yuri," a spy sending all their upcoming ideas to arch-rival Vogue that Jocelyn vows to uncover, but that's just another complication in the wacky world of haute couture. Crammed with insider jokes, industry potshots, and an army of cameos only fashion devotees will recognize, from Diane von Fürstenberg to Tommy Hilfiger (for the rest of us there's Gwyneth Paltrow for a few brief seconds), it's an old fashioned romantic comedy with a new wardrobe. It's Swain's engaging performance and Michael Lange's genial direction that mellow the caustic barbs and invest it with a sense of heart. --Sean Axmaker

Customer Reviews:

Fashionably Bad.......2005-09-28

I won't claim that this is the worst movie ever although many would award it at least a honorable mention. I watched this because "Dominique Swain" is one of the stars; she is the only one associated with this thing who has actually been able to find real work in the industry since its release. This was her first real career stumble and she probably wishes now that she had used an assumed name and worn a mask.

Imagine film students Leah and Vincenzo from the cable show "Film School" (The Tisch School of the Acts at NYU) collaborating on a feature length pseudo-documentary as their class project. They talk Swain into going with them to a New York City fashion magazine office for a couple of days. They tell the office staff that everyone has won a free week of acting for the camera lessons. They get another $10,000 from Parker and Jennifer to buy film (Parker's Visa card again), and reuse their script from 1999 when they made the unwatchable (and fortunately unwatched) "Fashionably LA".

Apparently the objective of the screenplay is to show the "real world" of fashion modeling through the eyes of an intern. The intern is played nicely by Swain who manages to inject some wry humor into many of her scenes and to somehow restrain herself from totally overwhelming the inexperienced cast around her (hence two stars instead of one).

The problem is that the premise, "blowing the lid off the fashion magazine scene", is of interest only to insiders who already know everything the film is about to reveal. Which is pretty much the same with any vocation. What next, a movie that "blows the lid off the Cincinnati CPA scene"?

Then again, what do I know? I'm only a child.

Give It A Break.......2005-01-23

Bad reviews abound for this straight-to-video feature - lot's of ugly sniping about the fashion business, gay stereotypes, superficiality, etc. But, please, let's get real here. Not every movie has to have deep subtext and meaning - especially not movies about the fashion business. Written and executive produced by Jill Kopelman, (daughter of the owner of the House of Chanel) and Caroline Doyle, the inside jokes and cameos run rampant in a movie that just misses being very clever. With a dreary romantic comedy subplot, Dominique Swain, most notable for *Lolita*, plays Jocelyn, an intern at *Skirt* magazine, who becomes involved in fashion espionage. A very thin premise, to be sure, with a John Waters-ish feel to it, but with a breathless E! TV approach to fashion and comedy. Also like a John Waters film, *Intern* depends heavily on onscreen slapstick and cameo performances- though since it's not John Waters, of course, we miss seeing Patty Hearst. Peggy Lipton is a pleasant surprise as Fashion Editor, Roxanne Rochet, a typical fashion victim, given to such statements as "Forget the herbal wrap - I want a Himalayan rejuvenation lichen-berry acid peel." She and her staff are complete caricatures of fashionistas (they are devoting nine pages of their current issue to making wheelchairs the chic accessory), but they are right on the money - especially Leilani Bishop as the vacuous, self-absorbed supermodel, and David Deblinger as the queeny art director. Paulina Porizkova, Anna Thompson, and comedienne Kathy Griffin are a little one-dimensional, but funny as well. Joan Rivers is Joan Rivers, and that's all we need to say about that. As stated earlier, it's not a particularly deep movie, but to paraphrase Karl Lagerfeld, fashion is not the same thing as feeding the hungry and curing the ill.

its cute.......2003-07-31

I don't know what everyone is on about, that this movie is bad. Ok, it may only be for a limited crowd-fashion people and people who follow that world, but I thought it was really cute.
Dominique Swain plays the "pathetic lowly intern" really well, and Ben Pullen as the love interest is really cute. They play well together.
The supporting cast is exactly the sort of people I'd expect to find at a fashion magazine. Considering some of the divas present in fashion, those people seem to underplay. Severely.
I'd say to the critics-give this movie another chance. Its not Citizen Kane. Maybe Citizen Kane for the fashion set.

Dominique Swain in a wonderful romantic comedy of the.............2003-01-26

Hell Iterns have to go thru...this is a very intertaining film about a iterns rise for respect, a career and for the love she wants to see the beauty in her.....
love this movie....

Fashion funny!!.......2002-10-22

I'm not a big Dominique Swain fan, so I can't really comment on the other reviews about this not being her best performance. In fact, this movie really shouldn't be considered a "Classic," but if you like fashion and are interested in the fashion industry, I think you'll find this movie very funny.

I loved the cameos by Gwenyth Paltrow, Kevyn Aucoin, Kenneth Cole, etc. I thought the movie was to be taken tongue-in-cheek. It isn't rocket science, it's fashion!! The plot is about a young woman working at a fashion magazine (Skirt Magazine) as an intern. While she is there, it is discovered that there is a "Yuri" (a spy leaking insider info to their competitor, Vogue Magazine).

If you love fashion as much as I do and are looking for a fun, no brainer movie to watch, I recommend The Intern.

Actress:

Actress

Actress